In READ magazine, Issue 6, you read a play adaptation of Lewis Carroll's classic novel, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. At the end of the play, we asked you to imagine yourself in one of the scenes by replacing the character of Alice with your own name and finding out how you deal with the absurd characters you meet. The following is an example of how I think I would handle myself at the March Hare's and Mad Hatter's tea party. I don't think I handled it very well. If you've written a scene of your own, we'd love to read it. We'll post the best ones on our student writing web site.

Bryon in Wonderland

Narrator: At the March Hare’s house, the chimneys are shaped like ears and the roof is thatched with fur. Bryon nibbles a bit from the mushroom in his left hand and grows to two feet tall.
Narrator: There is a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Mad Hatter are sitting and having tea. A Dormouse is between them, fast asleep. The table is a large one, but the three characters are all crowded at one corner of it.
Mad Hatter and March Hare: No room! No room!
Bryon: Fine. Bye.
Narrator: Bryon turns to leave but the March Hare stops him.
March Hare: Wait!
Bryon: What?
March Hare: Sit?
Bryon: Where?
March Hare: Anywhere you like! There is room now.
Bryon: You’re weird. But OK.
Narrator: Bryon sits near the Mad Hatter.
Mad Hatter: Your hair wants cutting.
Bryon: You know, I thought I heard it complaining about something earlier.
Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
Bryon: Riddles huh? Well alright. I’ll take a crack at it.
March Hare: Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?
Bryon: Yes, of course.
March Hare: Then you should say what you mean.
Bryon: But I do say what I mean! I mean … I always mean what I say! It’s the same thing!
Mad Hatter: It’s not the same thing a bit! You might just as well say that “I see what I eat” is the same thing as “I eat what I see”!
March Hare: You might just as well say that “I like what I get” is the same thing as “I get what I like”!
Narrator: The Dormouse talks in his sleep.
The Dormouse: You might just as well say that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep when I breathe”!
Mad Hatter: It is the same thing with you!
Narrator: The party sits silent for a minute.
Mad Hatter: What day of the month is it?
Bryon: I’m sure I have no idea.
Narrator: The Mad Hatter takes his watch out of his pocket and shakes it next to his ear.
Mad Hatter: I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!
March Hare: It was the best butter!
Mad Hatter: Yes, but some crumbs must have got in it as well.
Bryon: Dude, I don’t think butter is the best thing to smear in a broken watch.
Mad Hatter: And what do you know about it?
Bryon: Not much… just that butter is suited better for toast and pancakes.
Mad Hatter: Toast and pancakes?! Yum!
Bryon: You are insane.
Mad Hatter: The Dormouse is asleep again.
Narrator: The Mad Hatter pours some tea on the Dormouse’s nose.
The Dormouse: Of course! Of course! That’s just what I was going to remark myself.
Mad Hatter: Have you guessed the riddle yet?
Bryon: What? Oh… what was it? Why is a raven like a writing desk? Um… is it because they are both the main characters of a stupidly impossible riddle?
Mad Hatter: I haven’t the slightest idea.
March Hare: Nor I.
Bryon: Then what are you asking me for? You’re purposely wasting my time here.
Mad Hatter: If you knew Time as well as I do, you wouldn’t talk about wasting it. It’s him.
Bryon: Him huh? Time is a dude?
Mad Hatter: I daresay you never even spoke to Time!
Bryon: Actually, I have. Once, in a race against Time, I shouted at him, “Time, if you don’t slow down, I’m going to beat you senseless!”
Mad Hatter: Ah! That accounts for it. He won’t stand beating. Now if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons. You’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!
Bryon: So you and Time are best buds then?
Mad Hatter: Not I! We quarreled last March—just before he went mad, you know.
Narrator: The Mad Hatter indicates the March Hare with his teaspoon.
Mad Hatter: It was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing “Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you’re at! Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky.”
The Dormouse: Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle—
Mad Hatter: Well, I’d hardly finished the verse when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, “He’s murdering time! Off with his head!”
Bryon: Cool.
Mad Hatter: And ever since that, he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.
Bryon: Always tea time by the looks of it. Who drinks tea at six o’clock? What’s wrong with you?
Mad Hatter: I like tea.
March Hare: I’m getting tired of all this. I vote the young man tells us a story.
Bryon: I’m not here to entertain you, fool.
March Hare: Then the Dormouse shall! Wake up Dormouse!
The Dormouse: I wasn’t sleeping. I heard every word you fellows were saying.
March Hare: Tell us a story.
Bryon: Make it quick. I’ve got a previous engagement I’m early for already. Wait, no, that’s not right. Is it?
The Dormouse: Once upon a time there were three little sisters, and they lived at the bottom of a well.
Bryon: Liar. How did they live?
The Dormouse: They lived on treacle.
Bryon: Treacle like what? … like molasses? Eww! Gross! Wouldn’t they get ill?
The Dormouse: They were ill. Very ill!
Bryon: So what were they doing at the bottom of the well then? Did you push them down there, you sadistic hare?
March Hare: Take some more tea.
Bryon: More? You haven’t offered me any yet, you nut job! I can’t take more than nothing!
Mad Hatter: You mean you can’t take less. It’s very easy to take more than nothing.
Bryon: Again with the semantics. It’s very hard for you creatures to focus, isn’t it?
Mad Hatter: Who’s making personal remarks now?
Bryon: Nevermind … Why did they live at the bottom of the well?
The Dormouse: It was a treacle-well!
Bryon: There’s no such thing as a— OK… calm down Bryon. Take it easy. Go on, Dormouse…
The Dormouse: So these three little sisters—they were learning to draw, you know.
Bryon: What did they draw?
The Dormouse: Treacle.
Mad Hatter: I want a clean cup! Let’s all move one place down!
Narrator: Everyone moves one place down.
Bryon: I don’t get it.
Mad Hatter: You can draw water from a water-well. So I think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well. Eh, stupid?
Bryon: But they were in the well! And don’t call me stupid, stupid!
The Dormouse: Of course they were in a well—well in! They were learning to draw—everything that begins with the letter M.
Bryon: Why with an M?
The Dormouse: Why not?
Narrator: The Dormouse closes his eyes and is quiet again.
Bryon: If I continue this line of conversation with you, I believe I may lose my mind.
Mad Hatter: Then you shouldn’t talk!
Narrator: This last bit of rudeness is too much for Bryon to bear. He gets up from the table and walks away in disgust. He turns back once or twice to see the Mad Hatter and the March Hare trying to put the sleeping Dormouse in the teapot.
Bryon: Twinkle twinkle twinkle twinkle …