At long last, READ magazine has finally got all the kinks out of our time machine and we are now prepared to offer you something that no one else can--an exclusive interview with famous dead dudes.

We thought long and hard about who we should contact first, and in the end, we decided to go with the single most recognizable name in the history of the printed word. Enough buildup? Fine. It's William Shakespeare. 

Oh, stop moaning, you know there's something about him that intrigues you. In most literary circles, Shakespeare is considered to be one of the greatest, in fact, THE greatest writer of all time! So just what is it about him that's got the whole world going ga-ga?

I recently took a trip to the year 1600 and sat down with Mr. Shakespeare and asked him about his fame.

"Mr. Shakespeare," I somehow managed, "how'd you get to be so cool? I mean, wow, like, seriously, you're totally awesome, dude. Look at you! You're like... William Shakespeare! Do you just wake up every morning and smile and say, "I'm William Shakespeare"? Because I would."

Please do not send any more questions for Mr. Shakespeare. The interview has been conducted and will appear in Issue 12 of READ Magazine - Issue Date: February 10, 2006. Thank you.