I'm going to see The Da Vinci Code today. My anticipation for this film does not match the rest of the world's. In fact, it's not even close. But I can't not see it so I might as well get it over with.



Tom Hanks looks very unenthusiastic in all the previews. I get the feeling he understands that the story is bigger than anything he could bring to the table. It's actually quite a good story. Have you read the book? If not, you're the only one. All right. I didn't really want to get into it but it looks like I'm here now and I have no choice. So here we go...

There's some wild percentage that says that 75% of people do not read books. I just pulled that number out of my "made-up drawer" so don't quote me on it. But I have heard something along those lines before. I could look it up but I'm feeling lazy. At any rate, only a small portion of the population reads regularly. (Don't ask me how Barnes & Noble is so big.) Out of all the non-readers out there, I guarantee you that many many MANY of them HAVE read The Da Vinci Code. Why? Because when someone asks you if you've read The Da Vinci Code and you say "No", you feel like an idiot.

"Really? Wow. How could you have not read it? It's sooooo good! Oh my God, you absolutely have to read it! I can't believe you haven't read it! What's wrong with you? Why haven't you read it?"

"I don't know. I just haven't."

"I'll tell you what. I'll lend you MY copy. It's a little bent and worn because I've leant it out to soooo many people... but I'll let you read it if you want to. No, even if you don't want to, I'll lend it to you anyway. You just have to read it. OK?"

"OK."

That's how it is. That's how people are about this book. Calling it a phenomenon would not do this phenomenon justice. It's like some kind of literary plague.

So what's my problem, then? Being that I'm such an avid proponent of reading, why does this book bother me so much? I should be excited that everyone is reading it and that everyone is talking about it! But that's just it. I feel like it's the only book everyone is talking about. And everyone has been talking about it for years. Enough already! Go to the library and pick something else up! Please!

"When you're done with The Da Vinci Code, you can borrow my Angels and Demons."

Sigh.

Despite popular belief, Dan Brown is not the only person to ever write a book. Believe it or not, there are others. Herein lies my problem. I feel like everyone reads The Da Vinci Code because everyone reads The Da Vinci Code. People feel obligated--like they aren't a productive, contributing member of society until they've joined the club. I feel like they read it to say that they've read it. It makes them elite, somehow. But that membership does not collect any dues. It asks nothing more of you outside of reading that book. I feel that people pick it up, they read it, they talk about it, and they go back to not reading again.

Of course I have no basis for my insane theory. And I'm probably wrong. I hope I am anyway. Plus, I'm sure there is a fair amount of jealousy intertwined in the whole thing. I just want everyone to know how many other books there are. If you read and liked The Da Vinci Code, great! Awesome! Just don't stop there. Go out and pick something else up.

OK, rant over. Sorry if I didn't make any sense. All I really wanted to say was that I'm going to see the movie now.

I'm sure it will be entertaining.