Essay by Tasha Fisher, Grade 11

I can remember as a child tossing and turning in bed for hours and hours praying to God I would fall asleep. "Please God, let me fall asleep, I have a big day at school tomorrow, and I need some sleep. I promise I'll be a good girl for mommy." Every minute I would check the clock and hope I would fall asleep that minute. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into morning, and then it was time to get up.

In my family falling asleep was not an issue. My dad could fall asleep instantly; in a movie, in church, in a graduation ceremony, you name it, he's snored up a storm there. My mom well she's just exhausted by the end of the day. Once her head hits that off white temperpedic pillow she's asleep. Then my sister, she doesn't have any problem sleeping either. In fact in pre-school she would fall asleep on that uncomfortable hard as rock no support, pokey "carpet" during story time. Me, on the other hand, sleep has and will be a problem I battle my entire life.

My parents told me that when I was a baby, my dad would have to drive me all around town in my car seat until my little eyes wouldn't stay open anymore. Once I did fall asleep, he would carefully tip toe his way to the house. That was the only way I would fall asleep at night. Well there was another way that worked occasionally. My mom would roll out my crib to the living room and put on the "Jungle Book". I sat there on my Disney character infested blanket, as my small almond eyes would peer through the crib bars, like a hunter on a safari, not giving away it's location. Slowly but surely I would become more and more tired, then actually falling to sleep.

Growing up, I've always had this problem. No matter what time I go to bed at night it takes me a good few hours before I can actually fall asleep. Studies say that you spend one third of your life sleeping, I probably will spend only one fourth of my life sleeping. Every night when it was bedtime I always had some sort of problem that would keep me up later. "My tummy hurts, rub my tummy!" or I might complain about a loose tooth. Lying awake in bed with nothing to do, my hand can't resist twisting and turning my poor  little loose tooth. One night I twisted my tooth so hard, like a jar that was impossible to open. My tooth got completely turned around to the other side. As blood was dripping all over the place and the taste of blood was all in my mouth. The taste of blood doesn't taste good nor is it completely repulsive, kind of salty I remember. I ran to the bathroom mirror to see what I had done. My tooth was backwards. Extremely shocked by the horror I did to myself I ran downstairs, with my hand cupping my chin so no blood would fall on the brown squishy carpet. "Mommy! Help me! My tooth!" After I did yell and wake up the entire house at around midnight, my tooth fell right into the palm of my hand.

Perhaps I just have an overactive mind at night. That's what I like to think. Thoughts are just racing through my mind. I can't stop them. My mind runs like a sprinter, short and fast onto the next idea or thought I have. Laying in bed my mind is a TV that won't turn off. I think back to all the things that happened in my day, if I remember something I need to do, I will stagger woozily to my dry erase board and scribble down in my pitch black room what I needed to do. It is necessary to have my room so dark that no light whatsoever is visible. Clocks need to be covered up; anything that has a little light needs to be destroyed with a washcloth over it.

To this day my bed is the most comfortable mattress you will ever rest your aching body on. Trust me even more than a few people have fell asleep on it, in broad daylight. Except for me.

Now that I'm sixteen years old and still an insomniac, I still don't know what to do about it. I've tried everything from taking baths with candles the steam from the heat water relaxes my muscles and eases my mind, not enough to make me go to sleep any faster than normal. I thought I should drink hot tea before bed, that still doesn't work, what happens is I have to go to the bathroom all night, I have a small bladder. I even listened to soothing music while using a humidifier and stretching. I even read before bed, but I think that provokes my thinking to another level. What if this happened? I don't like that character. So that doesn't work. My mom is convinced that I am lacking a certain vitamin and a natural cure is going to magically make it disappear. Who knows? It could, but for now, you might find me in class with bags the size of Asia under my eyes, but you won't ever find me passed out on my desk, sound asleep.