Do you ever look at something so much that you don't really pay attention to what it's saying? I do, all the time. Last night, for example, I was writing a letter on a notepad when I actually stopped writing and looked at it closely.

I bought the notepad when I visited the Muir Woods National Monument in Mill Valley, California two summers ago. The trees were immense, tall, and the kind that you want to put your arms around. (I'd never thought of myself as a tree hugger even though one of my favorite children's books is Aani and the Tree Huggers, but there I found myself wrapping my arms around a tree trunk and relishing its sturdy stability.)

At the end of my hike, I wanted to buy a souvenir under $5 to take back. That ruled out a tee-shirt and left me with choices such as pen and magnets. Since I wanted something even more "special," I kept browsing through the racks until I found my notepad.

The notepad was made from recycled paper. A fuzzy beige, it had a sketch of a looming tree and these words:

Advice from a tree: Stand tall and proud - Sink your roots deep into the earth - Be content with your natural beauty - Go out on a limb - Drink plenty of water - Remember your roots - And enjoy the view!

Aha! Perfect! I paid for it and took it home.

Poem by Jeremy Johnson

But did you ever notice that sci-fi characters rely heavily on lasers?

"Uh oh, captain, there's a giant lizard coming at us!"
"Shoot the laser at it."

"Uh oh, captain, how do I get to the planet's surface?"
"We'll shoot you down there with a laser."

"Uh oh, captain, I have a horrible disease."
"The doctor will shoot a laser at you and cure you."

"Uh oh, captain, our space ship battery is out of power!"
"Let's all shoot our lasers at it to charge it up."

"Uh oh, captain, I'm hungry!"
"We have a laser that makes food."

Yes, sci-fi is fun, but it can get a bit wacky. Science shouldn't be an excuse for lazy writing. New inventions have to be presented carefully and realistically in a story.

You have to do it right, the way Jule's Verne did in 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and H.G. Wells  did in The Time Machine.

Otherwise things just get silly.

Click "Read More ..." to make fun of futuristic cars and practice writing about the future of science.

Today is Bloomsday. Today is what?!? It's Bloomsday, silly! On this day, June 16th, in 1904, the book Ulysses by James Joyce takes place. That's right, the entire book spans the course of one, long day in Dublin, Ireland.

Now, before you pick up this book, let me warn you: it will frustrate you. It's not an easy read. Not by a long shot. It's not even a quirky challenge. When I first tried to read Ulysses, I got about 100 pages in before I gave up and threw it across the room, screaming and tearing out my hair. Ever since then, I have tried time and time again and every time I pick it up, I get just a little bit further, a little bit further. And yet, this mammoth novel never seems to end. It just keeps on going and I keep on chucking it. And every time I pick it up again, I start at the very beginning and slowly work my way through. The last time, a chunk of pages came out and I actually had to glue them back together. That was kind of amusing.

You would think that, from my words, I am chastising Joyce and giving Ulysses a scathing review. Quite the contrary. Although I have never actually finished reading Ulysses, it is one of my favorite reads. Now how in the heck is that possible? Well... I figure it has to be one of my favorites because I keep coming back to it no matter how insane it makes me. I love trying to figure out what exactly is going on and just when I think I've got it, I realize that, oops, I don't. So I go back and I try it again. And if I can't get it, I make something up and it's kind of like I'm writing my own story along with Joyce. And mine and his are interwoven and they become a third. And that's better than fine with me. That's awesome.

Click below to read the opening lines from Ulysses. Don't worry if you can't understand it. Try to figure out what is going on, and, if you can't, try to make something up that is somewhat close to what is going on. The more you read it, over and over again, and the more you fill in your own version of the story with details, the more you will come to realize that your vision and Joyce's really aren't that different.

It's good stuff, right? Happy Bloomsday!

Click here to read the opening lines from James Joyce's Ulysses.

Stuck for a fictional story idea? Use strange news events as inspiration. Here's a good example:

Imagine that you are a bank teller in Jackson, Mississippi. It's 10 a.m. on a Friday morning, and everything is quiet. You are waiting for the lunch rush of workers cashing their paychecks for the weekend.

Suddenly, a mummy walks into the bank!



Only its eyes and lips are visible. Its arms, face, and head are covered by bandages. Over the bandages, it's wearing normal street clothes.

The mummy walks up to the counter and asks for help. Before you can figure out what to do or say, the mummy jumps over the counter, shovels handfuls of cash into it's clothing, and bolts out the door!

This is a true story.