The Star Spangled Banner
     - Francis Scott Key

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Happy Fourth!

The following is a piece of my catalog of travels from the great state of Virginia to the great state of California, up the coast to Washington (also great), and then back east, back home. Nothing in this account has been embellished and/or fabricated. It all really and truly happened. For real. Seriously. I would not lie to you.

Saturday, June 10, 2006 (cont.)
KENTUCKY

"You haven't written about Kentucky yet."
"Yeah well, nothing's happened in Kentucky yet."

The Simpsons
Bry studies the map of Kentucky for 15 minutes or so until ...

"Whoa. There's a Shelbyville, Kentucky! You know, like in The Simpsons? Shelbyville is the town right next to Springfield."
"Oh yeah." Dan replied unenthusiastically.
"Wait! Holy cow! Shelbyville, Kentucky is right next to Simpsonville!"
"Really?" Dan replied with just a bit more enthusiasm.
"Yeah! Wow. ... Wow man. ... I'm kind of in shock right now."
"I wonder if that's where The Simpsons are from?"
"Nah, that’d be too obvious. ... But still. I dunno. I’m in shock."
"Mm hmm."
"I think I’m in a little bit of shock."
"Take it easy.”

Welcome to the Horse Capital of the World
I have always enjoyed being welcomed by states. In this case, it was a mural of horses on a water tower. Personally, I think Arabia probably has more horses than Kentucky, but Kentucky's got the whole Derby thing and they're very proud of it. So I won't split hairs.

Sunday, June 11, 2006
INDIANA

The Happiest Place on Earth ... No wait, That's Disneyworld
We entered Indiana last night around 9:00. We drove another 100 miles or so, making our total for the day over 700 miles! We called it a "champ day". 700 miles is a lot of miles. It's like driving from New York City to Boston and then turning around and driving back to New York and then turning around and driving back to Boston and then, that's right, driving back to New York again. Wow.

In Indiana, we rubbed our road-weary eyes, turned our clock back an hour, and got off the highway at (are you ready for this?) "Santa Claus". Yup, Santa Claus, Indiana is an actual town and it's like the North Pole exploded and reformed all over the place! It's great!

We drove up to Santa's Lodge and inquired about a room. Too expensive. Of course. We really have to ration our spending, we can't afford luxuries such as a room in Christmas Heaven. Oh well. At least we got to ooh and ahh in the lobby at the smiling plastic Santa Clauses and Mrs. Santa Clauses and reindeer and presents and choo choo trains and colored lights. This is still June, right?

Also in town was "Holiday World". It looked pretty cool but again, we’re saving up for the zoos and amusement parks of the great West. Now if you’re thinking we’re just passing everything by, well, you're right, for now. We really do intend to do stuff. No foolin'.

ILLINOIS
We drove straight through Illinois. It seemed nice.

The following is a piece of my catalog of travels from the great state of Virginia to the great state of California, up the coast to Washington (also great), and then back east, back home. Nothing in this account has been embellished and/or fabricated. It all really and truly happened. For real. Seriously. I would not lie to you.

Low Moor, Virginia.
Just crossed the border. One of the last signs in Virginia was for a town called Low Moor. Say it out loud. Low Moor. How fun is that? If anyone out there reading this is from Low Moor, please speak up. I must know if your town is as cool as its name.

Find the River
We decided to get off of Highway 64 and take a scenic route through a few towns. We thought it would be faster. It looked faster on the map, anyway. Of course, the map didn't show the 500,000 sharp turns in alternating directions immediately following each other up a scary mountain!

At the top, we stopped at Hawk's Nest State Park. Although there were no birds of prey soaring in the sky, we did enjoy a nice view of the Kanawha river. Some dude was there telling his kids that the river was 23 million years old. Is that even possible? I didn't question him because that would have been rude, but Dan and I shared a doubtful glance. Oh, you know what else they didn't have 23 million years ago? Sporks. Ahh evolution.

"Come on in and see The Mystery Hole!"
What?!? That's what was painted on the side of ... I don't even know how to explain it. It was like a very large trailer but it was also like an old, rundown shack with peeled paint. It was on the side of yet another curve in the road and I almost pulled in to the driveway. But Dan was afraid that if we went to see the mystery hole, we'd never come out.

"You probably pay $4 to stand in front of a bottomless pit while some dude stands behind you and pushes you in."

"It's a mystery, though! We have to go back!"

"No way, man! It's probably just a stupid hole in the ground. They probably filled it in last year and that's why it's a mystery--because they won't tell you what they used to fill it in."

"But if we don't go back, we won't be able to tell everyone that we saw The Mystery Hole!"

"Great! I can live with that!"

Sigh.

Next stop... Kentucky.