I will be interviewing Mr. Mark Twain in the very near future. Or maybe it will be Mr. Samuel Clemens. I'm not sure exactly who will be showing up yet.

Sidenote: They're the same person. Mark Twain was Samuel Clemens' pen name (or pseudonym, if you will).

Yes he's dead. But use your imagination here. Anything you'd like me to ask him? Send an email to word@weeklyreader.com. Write "Mark Twain" in the subject line and put your question in the body of the email.

He's the author of Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court, and about a gazillion other things! He's a very cool guy. And he'll answer any question you have. All you have to do is ask.

Oh yes, and don't forget to tell us what grade you're in... or will be entering in the fall.

Seriously now, ask a good question and we may just very well publish it AND your name in READ magazine!! At the very least, you'll get a personal email back from Mr. Mark Twain himself!

Word.

The following is a piece of my catalog of travels from the great state of Virginia to the great state of California, up the coast to Washington (also great), and then back east, back home. Nothing in this account has been embellished and/or fabricated. It all really and truly happened. For real. Seriously. I would not lie to you.

Thursday, June 15, 2006
CALIFORNIA

CALIFORNIA REST IN PEACE
SIMULTANEOUS RELEASE
CALIFORNIA SHOW YOUR TEETH
SHE'S MY PRIESTESS I'M YOUR PRIEST
         - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Fire and Brimstone and Lava
We left Reno in the morning and headed up Route 89 to Lassen Volcanic National Park. I've never seen a volcano before. Have you?

We were over 10,000 feet above sea level and the temperature dropped dramatically at the top. I never thought I'd see snow in California in June, but that's exactly what we saw. And there was a lot of it. Probably about four feet on the side of the road at one point. Kinda weird.

Dan has a thing about heights. He didn't want to drive to the top so I left him on the side of the road and kept going. Ha!

At the top, I didn't stay long. Just long enough to have some dude take my picture, look around, inhale the mountain air, and smile.

After picking Dan up, we drove back down and stopped to check out the sulfur springs. It stank like rotten eggs. P.U.! Gross! Still cool though.

Redwoods National Forest
Wow wow wow wow wow! We arrived at the Redwoods National Forest around 7:00 p.m. The sun was going down and we had been rushing to get there in order to absorb the precious few minutes of daylight that were left. As Dan drove down the virtually deserted road through the forest, I was staring up through the sunroof. I couldn't take my eyes off the top of the trees. This was because I could barely see them!

We stopped in a small parking lot that was announcing "The Big Tree". We got out and walked into the woods and came upon it. Calling this marvel of nature "The Big Tree" does not do it justice. 340 feet tall, with a 27 foot diameter. I was in awe. The sign said that the tree was "circa 1500 years old"! And not only that, but the sign looked faded and aged itself. So I deduced that "The Big Tree" was really circa 1,530 years old. Boo yah!

What a tree, man. Seriously. If you're ever in Northern California, you have to check this thing out! I'll be angry at you if you don't. Go see "The Big Tree". Go! And while you're there, you can walk down any number of paths through the forest and breathe the trees' air. It's incredible.

Next stop ... Washington.

It was on this day 66 years ago that Bugs Bunny was born unto the world. On July 27, 1940, he starred in his very first animated short film entitled A Wild Hare. For months, directors and artists at Warner Bros. studios were experimenting with the idea of a somewhat inept hunter pursuing a wascally wabbit. The hunter, of course, evolved into Elmer Fudd. Just one of many characters to come who, while battling a crippling speech impediment, fell under the cunning superiority of Bugs Bunny's shenanigans.

Gosh, that long-eared, carrot-chomping, smart-aleck slapstick fuzzball was brilliant!

There was only one time I remember Bugs ever losing. That was when he became trapped in the Abominable Snowman's wristwatch. His arms were extended as watch hands and they ticked through the seconds. But even then, he was optimistic!

"Ehhh, it's a living."

I love you Bugs. Come back. And leave Michael Jordan and Shaq at home when you do.

Happy Birthday.