Last week, I saw The Simpsons movie. I've been meaning to tell you about it... actually, I've been meaning to do a lot of things... but that's neither here nor there... nor there... nor even there.

CAN WE GET ON WITH IT, PLEASE?

The Back Story
I've been watching The Simpsons since Day One. Actually, it was since even before Day One because I was actually one of the many who was lucky enough to catch them when they were nothing but rudimentary sketches on The Tracy Ullman Show.That was way back in the day. Back when Homer at least tried to give some kind of fatherly advice:

"Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!"

So to say that I'm a fan of this animated family is, at the very least, an understatement.

The Creators
(Read an exclusive interview with Director David Silverman)
The people behind The Simpsons took a big risk making this movie. Many of their diehard fans are about as serious as Comic Book Guy. Impressing them after 18 seasons is not an easy task. However, the 90 or so minutes of yellow-skinned shenanigans (though they are not the funniest 90 or so minutes ever recorded on film it was still hilarious) are impressive.

The Laughter & The Heart
I laughed. A lot. The audience was filled with a crowd of all ages. People were enjoying it, sure. But at times, I think I laughed a little too loudly at jokes that, apparently, only I found amusing. It was a good, solid movie. And it wasn't only funny, it was touching. Believe it or not, the Simpsons can actually pull on a heartstring or two when they really want to. Being that that is not their ultimate goal, however, it makes the gooseflesh even more sensitive when it breaks.

The Plot
After Homer adopts a pig (yes, Spiderpig), he dumps all of said pig's... um... waste in the Springfield River. This causes the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) to come down hard on the town. Springfield's level of pollutants is so great that the EPA decides to encase the entire town in a giant, unbreakable, glass dome. Makes perfect sense right? Well, that's the government for you. Zing! Where was I? Oh yes. Spoiling the movie for you... ok well that's the premise and I'll stop right there because I don't want to give anything else away. Except this: Homer ruins everything. And Homer inevitably has to try to fix what he has ruined. Basically, it's everything you love about classic Homer mixed with a more complex, introspective (yet still careless and carefree) Homer. It's good stuff.

Bart & Homer
They've never really had what you would call "a healthy father/son relationship." But in this movie... well, they still don't. But they do have their moments. There is a well-hidden love there that does exist between them. Neither of them would ever admit it of course, but it's there. You can find it in Bart's full-faced laughter when his father hits himself in the head with a hammer for the umpteenth time. Or when Homer calls his son "the boy", he sometimes gets a distant look in his eye. Could it be pride? After all, Bart is nothing if not the spitting image of his dad.

The Town
Yes, every single character in Springfield is in this movie. But if you're looking for side-stories, look to FOX Sunday nights at 8:00pm. This feature film is all about Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Spiderpig... and sometimes Grandpa. I'm glad the creators didn't stray from the family's storyline too often. It made for a much fuller movie-going experience.

The Vulgarity
The movie is rated PG-13 and there are a few instances where I was thrown for a loop. I won't go into them here, but if you saw the film, you know what I'm talking about. I'm not quite sure how I felt about those, shall we say, deviations from what you would expect from the Simpsons. Not that they were ever a wholesome family. Heh. Not at all. But there were certain times in the movie where I think the writers might have gone over the top a little. Still funny though. :)

All in all, it was an entertaining ride. The Simpsons never fail to tickle my smile. Here's to another 18 years... and as the least likely character said during the credits, possibly a "sequel".

The Oopsie Daisy
Oh wait, this is supposed to be a literary blog, huh? Ehhhhhhhh.... um.... ok, go read a book.

Ah, and you thought we were done with our Harry Potter entries. Well, my friend, you were wrong. The final book might have already come out (we have a great review here), but the boy wizard is still making headlines.

A 16-year-old in France posted his own translation of The Deathly Hallows on Monday. Problem is, the French version of the book won't be out until October 26. So the boy was arrested.

I'm all for taking action against those who transgress against laws. And we all know that plagiarism is bad. And immoral. And not cool. But was this boy really doing something so bad? OK, he did take J. K. Rowling's words without her permission. If he was trying to make money off of this, than that's even worse. Was he trying to make money? I don't know. Probably.

But if you take it at face value, he is just a fan of Harry Potter who wanted his French peers to be able to enjoy the book right now. That's not so bad. It's kind of noble actually, if you ignore the breaking the law part. (Please note, Weekly Reader does not endorse breaking the law, even if it is in the name of literature.)

Well the boy's translation was removed. But it's clear that even after so many books, people still have a fever for Harry. And what's the cure for that fever? More cowbell! Just kidding. Keep on reading Harry Potter!

The following book review was written by Miss Erin, Grade 11.

 - by Gary D. Schmidt

Taking place during the 1960's, The Wednesday Wars tells the story of Holling Hoodhood, an average teenage boy dealing with school, family, friends, and Shakespeare. Mrs. Baker, his teacher, has assigned him a play to read. And the surprising thing is, Holling finds himself enjoying the work of the bard!

Mix Shakespeare and wonderful writing and absolutely great characters, and the result is something to fall in love with. I had fun catching certain Shakespeare allusions and reading Holling's interpretations and reactions to different plays. The author brings the schoolboy's day-to-day life alive in a brilliant style. All-in-all, an extremely delightful read. Very highly recommended.

Visit Miss Erin at her literary blog.

It was a dark and stormy night ...

Clichéd? Yes. Hackneyed? You betcha! Bad writing? Well now, that's the point!

That famous line is the inspiration for an annual contest that salutes bad writing. The contestants must come up with a really bad first line to a non-existent novel. This year's winner combined awkward syntax and bathroom humor, among other things.

This is the winning entry: "Gerald began -- but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them 'permanently' meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash -- to pee," Gleeson wrote.

What a novel idea! (Get it? Oh, and on that same note, contestants can get awards in several categories, one of which is "vile puns." I could totally win that!)

No, seriously, I think this is a really cool contest. There are so many bad writers out there, but to do it purposely, that takes some finesse! And it's definitely harder than it looks.

Here's my attempt:

"Mike looked into Sally's bright blue glowing orbs, her eyes, the windows to her soul (streak-free, no less!), which were as deep and mysterious as the ocean and brought back memories of when he was a lifeguard that summer five years ago and that little girl--why hadn't she listened to him?--had gone out too far and was carried away by a massive riptide; suddenly, Mike no longer wanted to swim in Sally's waters."

Go on, give it a try!