Legend had it that every year, a figure, cloaked in black with a wide-brimmed hat, sneaked into the graveyard and placed three roses and a bottle of cognac on Edgar Allan Poe's grave. And every year, crowds have gathered at the grave, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mystery man or woman who was honoring the master of the macabre.

But the truth has been revealed. What is that, you ask? It's--the beating of his hideous heart! Ha. No, no. the truth is that it was all a hoax. Turns out, Sam Porpora, a former ad executive, wanted to drum up some publicity for the cemetery. (Wait, you mean tourists aren't usually clamoring to spend their vacations in a dreary cemetery? Shocker!) So old Sam and his tour guides came up with the Poe toaster.

What a disappointment!

It was such a romantic notion. So chilling. So Gothic. So totally Poe.

Well, to express my outrage at the Poe toaster being a complete lie, I thought I'd write a stanza ala Poe's "The Raven."

Once there was a story that was not really gory,
About a man who paid tribute to a famous guy.
Turns out he was faking, leaving us really aching.
He claimed someone came in the dead of night.
But it was just to get the cemetery in the spotlight.
This whole thing was just a lie.

 OK. So I'm no Poe. Here's a better re-imagining of "The Raven," courtesy of The Simpsons. Enjoy!

Stephen King, author of over 58,000 novels about things that go bump in the night, recently went to a bookstore in Australia and vandalized copies of his own books!

What happened was, he went over to the "King section" (a room in the back that is twice the size of the moon) and started etching his signature in blood across the inside front covers.

When employees of the bookstore realized what was happening, they approached King hesitantly (it is common knowledge, you see, that Stephen King is a Werewolf-Vampire-Chupacabra that feeds on the flesh and souls of the innocent.)

"Excuse me," said the first scared-to-near-death employee, "may I ask you what you are doing defacing our property, Mr. King?" Instead of answering her with words, the popular novelist's eyes turned to fire and his hair transformed into a nest of venomous snakes. The employee ran for her life. Unfortunately, King was too quick for her. He sprouted wings and overtook the poor woman in the How-To section of the bookstore. Witnesses at the scene stood in shock as he temporarily satisfied his demon appetite.

As for the books that Mr. King defaced with his bloody John Hancock, they are now listed on eBay.

Caveat Emptor: The books are cursed. Well duh!

At least that's how I heard it anyway. Some other guy tells a different story of what happened here.

Read Stephen King's review of Harry Potter here.

Read an exclusive interview with Stephen King here.

Are you one of the lucky ones who bought an iPhone? (If you are, I'm so totally jealous. Can I borrow it sometime? Or maybe just hold it?) Well, the iPhone is soon going to have a new feature.

The publishing company HarperCollins is setting up a link that will allow iPhone users to read excerpts from some of their upcoming books.

So you can talk on the phone, text, listen to music, browse the Internet, and read--all on the same gadget.

Would you want to read on your iPhone? Personally, I think I would. I love reading, especially when I travel or when I'm eating alone. But sometimes it's just a pain to lug a big fat heavy novel around. Reading on the iPhone (even if it is just an excerpt of a novel) would be much more convenient. Hopefully other publishing companies will follow suit, and we'll have a larger choice of what to read--that is, if you can get your hands on an iPhone.

Then again, I don't know if I would want to pay $500 plus just to read part of a book. I can read a whole book for free at the library! I guess going to the library just doesn't have the same coolness factor as holding an iPhone.

Well, since I don't have an iPhone, I guess I'll just keep reading books the normal way. But do you think putting book excerpts on the iPhone is a good idea? Do you think you could get me an iPhone?

I really want an iPhone.

What do you like about emo? The emotional lyrics? The catchy riffs? The eyeliner? (Definitely the eyeliner!) Well, what about the comic books?

That's right, comic books. In September, Gerard Way, lead singer of My Chemical Romance, will be publishing his own comic books called The Umbrella Academy. The basic storyline, from what I can gather, is about a superhero troupe called the Umbrella Academy, who had a sort of falling out. But now their adoptive father has died, and they must band together to save the world.

Even the characters have cool rock star-ish qualities. There's The Horror, who can possess monsters. There's The Rumor, who can make lies come true (so could my younger brother, now that I think about it). And don't forget Spaceboy, the leader, who, for some reason, has the body of a Martian gorilla. (Also like my younger brother! Joking.) Hey, I just report the news. I don't make this stuff up!

I don't know about the concept, but still, I'm intrigued. Comic books are huge now, and they are a great way to get reluctant readers to take the plunge and start enjoying reading. And anything that gets people to read is good in my book. (Get it? Read? Book? OK, even I'm groaning at that one.) Plus My Chemical Romance is huge now as well. So add the hugeness of comic books with the hugeness of the band and you get ... something very, very big.

So, are you excited about the adventures of Spaceboy and friends? Do you think rock stars can write comic books (after all, they do write lyrics)? I guess we're going to have to wait until September to find out!