"No thank ya’, Mr. Callidus. A’ just ate ma’ lunch and mama says the ice cream isn’t good fer ma’ tummy."

"But you’re such a pretty lil’ girl. All pretty girls need ice cream!" Susie moved her head from left to right, inspecting her surroundings like a watch guard.

"A’right," she said in a soft voice, "just don’t tell mama."

"That’s a girl!"

"A’ only got twenty-five cents, though."

"Just the right amount for a sundae with a cherry on top."

Mr. Callidus flicked the paper onto his kitchen table with a smirk on his face.

"Awww. Poor lil’ girl. The family must be jus’ devastated."

In the news today is a young children's book called Potty Time With Elmo. The book has different buttons that, when pressed, emit Elmo's helpful, childlike voice instructing kids on how to use the potty. But is he saying something else?

Uh oh! Who has to go?

That's what the publishers of the book say is being misheard by some readers/listeners. Apparently, there are a few defective books out there where the audio file on this particular phrase sounds ... different. Some parents and their very young children have heard

Uh oh! Who wants to die?

Now whatever the reason behind this flaw in some of the books--whether it was the result of some disgruntled employee getting his revenge, or the readers hearing something that isn't there, or that it is a corrupted file as the publisher says--whatever the case may be, I don't want to hear it. I'm kinda scared just thinking that it's out there.

However, it is intriguing to think that Elmo may be contemplating his own mortality. 

Editors' Note: We asked you to tell us who inspires you in life, who your influences are. Here's what some of you had to say.

The author who influences my writing most is Meg Cabot. I've read many of her books like the Princess Diaries Series to The Mediator. I love her style of writing, which is directed to pre-teens and teens. Her books are funny and unpredictable. Meg has written many books, which I intend to do in my lifetime. She continues to take on the challenge of being a writer. I am hoping that in my lifetime I can make a page-turner book just like she has done.

Two years ago, my mom got Breast Cancer and ever since then she has been an inspiration in my eye.  Through her worst, she stayed strong for me, my siblings, and my dad.  She made sure that I knew she would make it through this, and of course she did.

The person who has the biggest influence to me is my Grandfather, Alan Best Janssen.  His unique middle name is his mother’s maiden name. Grandpa has inspired me in every aspect of my life. He will tell you what is on his mind and he never lets anything influence his opinion. He’s one of the nicest, most thoughtful, and funniest people you will probably meet in your life time.

I have been inspired by many people in life but the person who has affected me the most is my sister Bethany, who is four years older that me.  Bethany has been a great sister all my life from playing "Monkey Mommy" when I was little, to now when she does my hair before I go out.

It never occurred to me that deciding which books to teach, getting them approved, and actually keeping them in the curriculum can sometimes be quite an ordeal.

Today, the roles are reversed and I am the teacher. Things are pretty different.

Right now, the English department at my high school is being challenged by some parents. They don’t want us to teach Grendel, by John Gardner—a book I’m teaching to my 9^th grade Honors English class.

Grendel is a book about the monster and arch nemesis of Beowulf, the hero of the classic Anglo-Saxon poem of the same name. In Gardner’s book, he allows the readers to question Grendel’s motives and decide whether he truly is the evil monster he is made out to be.

The parents who are challenging our decision to teach the book are deeply committed to the belief that there is already enough "evil" in the world and their children should be reading only "uplifting" materials.

I disagree.

Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day! How ludicrous. I swear, there's a day for everything. Anyway, who am I to judge? In fact, I like squirrels. What's not to like? They're both cute and creepy at the same time. It's mesmerizing. Allow me to regale you with a brief but true story. My story starts out with a porch.

My porch is not my favorite thing in the world, but it is certainly up there in my top 10. Every spring/summer/fall and yes, even parts of the winter, I love to sit on my porch and read and/or write. It's my haven, my one place in this crazy universe where I feel utterly untouchable and free. Ahhh... my porch.

My porch is on the second floor of an apartment building and looks out onto no less than four different highways and some small body of water that I am ashamed to say I don't know the name of. OK, so it's not the best view in the world, but it's still one that I own. However, blocking this view of mine is a tall tree that stands about five feet from my building. And in this tree, there lives a squirrel. Two squirrels. Three squirrels. Four. Fifty bigillion. I have no idea how many there are. But there are a lot. They are here all year long. They do not fly south for the winter. Although it might be amusing to see them try.

There's this guy in my building who feeds the squirrels. At least three times a week, I see him out spreading peanuts on the lawn. Our lawn is always littered with shells. But hey, someone's got to feed the squirrels, right?

Anyway, when the weather is not ridiculous cold, I like to get up early and read on my porch before heading off to work. Can you possibly begin to understand how hard it is to read when these adorable, freaky little creatures are chilling out in my every peripheral? And they don't only sit in their tree. They venture out and climb up on the roof in front of me. Sometimes, this one, big, fat squirrel just sits there and stares at me. I stare back. He stares back. I stare back. It never ends. I feel like he's summing me up, trying to figure out if I'm a threat. Or maybe he's plotting to conquer me? Maybe he's the leader of the squirrel army and my days are numbered? Only Fatty McSquirrel knows the truth inside his tiny head. His beady little eyes reveal nothing. He is cold. He is calculating. And then... everything changes and I feel like he is trying to smile. Like he's my friend. Like he means me no harm. Like he is a messenger of Mother Nature telling me that we co-exist in a friendly world. Everything is OK again. And he leaves. Back to the tree in front of me to report to his soldiers how they will advance on me.

It's maddening.

I try to get back to my book but I'm forever stuck in Squirrel World. Because after all, it IS their world... and we're all just nuts living in it.

In honor of Squirrel Appreciation Day, we have chosen the three best student Odes. Most of them feel the same way I do. That these weird animals are both wonderful and creepy. Enjoy.

One day I went walking
deep into the woods.
As I looked up,
into a tall tree
there was something
looking back at me.
Fluffy tail,
acorn in hand,
looking very very grand.
A chattering squirrel
stood gracefully,
enjoying being ever so free.

by Elizabeth K., Grade 7

Yo Squirrel, I think that you are wicked sweet. For
last week I tried to steal your nuts so prized and
you handed me a stunning defeat. Yo Squirrel, at
first I thought you were dead. But I got you all riled
and you started going wild and jumped right onto
my head. Yo Squirrel, for me it started as a joke.
But you proved rather hostile and now I'm in the
hospital, straining just to reach my Coke. But Yo
Squirrel, I still think that you're wicked sweet.

by Scott M, Grade 7

Squirrels, so cute and fuzzy
I watch them from my window
My dog loves them so
She chases them to and fro
They leap easily from tree to tree
While she follows on the ground eagerly
Though she never loses hope
Her furry friends love to taunt
They chatter and chatter incessantly
Though she only wants to hug them

by Meredith S., Grade 7

Here at Weekly Reader, we have a giant chalkboard in the middle of the office that we hardly ever use. We also have a highly talented chalk artist who doubles as Writing magazine's highly talented Art Director. Every once in awhile, Jeff (that's the tall, bearded man's name) seizes the day and paints us a pretty picture. He usually does this very early in the morning or late after work when no one is around. But we all know it's him. He gives our chalkboard purpose. He sheds great art on our magazine and colors our words with snazzy layouts.

Jeff believes that 2006 is the year of the reader. Jeff is an awfully wise man... and for a Red Sox fan, that's saying a lot.

Today is Benjamin Franklin's 300th birthday. Here are some neat tidbits on our favorite American Renaissance man, courtesy of the Writer's Almanac:

It's the birthday of Benjamin Franklin, (books by this author) born in Boston (1706). Books were hard to come by when he was a young apprentice in his brother's printing shop, but he got hold of an odd volume of Addison and Steele's The Spectator and used it to teach himself how to write. He took notes on each of the pieces, then hid the book and tried to reconstruct the essays from the notes alone. He toyed with the idea of becoming a poet, but his father assured him that "verse-makers were generally beggars," and he turned his attention to the cultivation of virtue and the aid of humanity.. He became better known than any of the leaders of the Revolution except George Washington; he signed every document associated with the founding of the Republic, and took Paris by storm when he appeared at court to secure an alliance with France. He invented bifocals and the glass harmonica, charted the Gulf Stream on his way across the Atlantic, and chased tornadoes on horseback. He was flirtatious on up into his seventies. In 1731, Franklin founded America's first circulating library so that people could borrow books to read even though they might not have been able to afford to buy them. He was the author, printer, and publisher of Poor Richard's Almanack, an annually published book of useful encouragement, advice, and factual information, beginning in 1732. It contains maxims such as "Early to bed and early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise" and "In this world nothing can said to be certain except death and taxes.

Benjamin Franklin was known as the patron saint of advertising. He sold many ideas to the masses and utilized the now ever-popular jingle to do so. He also popularized the letter to the editor and used writing to argue positions such as why the rattlesnake should be the symbol of America.

In honor of his birthday, try one of our writing activities.

I've been meaning to tell you all about this New York Times article my friend Meredith recently sent me. Supposedly, a bunch of British scientists just released a study which says that "on the summer weekends when the last two books of the [Harry Potter] series came out, young people made far fewer visits to an Oxford, England emergency room." Apparently, young readers between the ages 8-15 were so spellbound by the book that they ended up with fewer injuries such as sprained ankles, broken wrists, etc.

Do you agree with this hypothesis? What were you doing on the weekend last summer when Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was published?

Hello and welcome to the new age of WORD! Now and forever we will be posting student writing as regular entries. You can comment on your fellow writers' poems/stories/essays as you like. Help each other out! Give your opinions! Share! Laugh! Write! Yah!

Each time we post a new piece of student writing, it will be stored in the links in the right column under either "Fiction", "Nonfiction", or "Poetry". You can submit your own writing by clicking on the "Submit Your Writing" link or by emailing us at word@weeklyreader.com.

Enjoy reading the first student writings for each category below. And don't forget to tell us what you think!

   - Poem by Eugene Levit, Grade 9

Searching for a story untold
Travel far and wide
From sea to sea
Hoping to find an inspiration
Searching for some inspiration
An idea to fall right on my head
A simple thought or suggestion
That could lead to a work of creativity
Searching for some creativity
Some brand new words
Maybe a different world
A world which is unique
Searching to be unique
Thoughts that come to me all on my own
Thoughts different from anyone ever before
Ideas which come to me from the depth of my mind

So, last fall we introduced you all to the Weekly Writer - a spoooooooky online story started just for the Weekly Reader by Stephen King and waiting to be finished up by you ... (You still can add to it. C'mon, do it today.)

Now, I'm excited to tell you about NOISY OUTLAWS, UNFRIENDLY BLOBS, And Some Other Things That Aren't As Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones from the Sky, Parents Who Disappear in Peru, a Man Named Lars Farf, and one Other Story We Couldn't Quite Finish, So Maybe You Could Help Us Out. (Talk about a long title!!!)

NOISY OUTLAWS is a new collection of short stories for "wise young people and immature old people" brought to us by the editors of McSweeney's. It features stories written by all-star authors such as Nick Hornby, John Scieszka, Jonathan Safran Foer, and many others, plus really cool illustrations.

Some people like short stories, and others ... well, they don't. I'm usually more of a novel person, but I loved this book. Besides bringing us into the imaginary worlds of some really talented authors, it also does two very generous things. 1) All proceeds from purchases go to benefity 826nyc, a writing center in Brooklyn, NYC offering free classes to students between the ages of 8 and 18. 2) It offers readers the opportunity to take part in a nifty contest.

Here's the deal: Lemony Snicket started a story that appears on the inside of the dust jacket. It's up to you to add your own "thrilling, joyful, or disgusting ending." The jacket then folds up into a snazzy envelope, and you mail it back and wait ... McSweeney's editors' favorite ending will receive some fabulous prizes ("a complete set of A Series of Unfortunate Events signed by Lemony Snicket himself; 11 pounds of chocolate; a Venus flytrap; six hundred tiny glass bottles; and a large sack of dirt from Winnipeg") -- and be published in a future book and at their website.

I told you it was pretty cool!

The deadline to enter is April 1, 2006 and the winning entry will be announced on June 1, 2006.

Take a stroll to a bookstore near you and check out Noisy Outlaws. Maybe you have what it takes to give Lemony Snicket a hand.

2006, eh?

Word.

Yes, it is true that we have been gone for quite some time. The holidays allowed us to recharge our creative batteries with lots of sleep and tons of food. I must loosen my belt just remembering... Did you all have a good holiday break? Are you back in school now? You must be. We're back at work. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy to trudge in here yesterday. Half the state was blanketed in snow. Not us. We only got rain. Am I really blogging about the weather now? Wow, I really am out of practice.

Well, rest assured, we are here and although this is a pretty ridiculous way to start off the new year in BLOG LAND, writing always takes a little bit of warming up before anything meaningful comes out. Sometimes, nothing comes out at all and that's OK, too... so you keep writing.

Argh.

OK, well, whatever... in the coming days (weeks?) we will be changing a few things around here. The most important change is that we are going to begin posting Student Writing here on the blog... as entries! So submit often, visit us often, and um... write more often than not!

2006, eh?

Happy New Year.